Judy H. Wright

Death in the Family - How to Deal With the Grief of Losing Someone Close



Posted: Tuesday, October 19, 2010

by Judy H. Wright
Artichoke Press

What is dead? What if we bury Grandpa and then he wakes up? Will I die if I go to sleep? I hate him for dying, he said he would take me fishing. Death in the family is always difficult, but more so when it is someone close who is trying to deal with the grief.

We Have All Lost Something or Someone

Each one of us will at some point in our lives lose something or someone who is very precious to us. While I may not know exactly how you feel, and it would be presumptuous to say that, I have experienced the terrible loss of someone central in my life.

As children we encounter family deaths, divorces or transitions that were painful and confusing. Many adults tell me the most painful death they have experienced was the loss of a beloved pet as a child. Many parents do not realize the depth of love that a child may feel for a pet, and so will treat the incidence with little regard for feelings.

As we look back at our life experiences, it is how the first encounter of death is handled, that sets a pattern for the rest of our lives. If all members of the family are allowed to express their feelings openly and get questions answered honestly, it can bring a closeness and healing.

Finding Windows Of Hope

Many times parents will assume that by not talking about the death of a close family member, they will somehow protect their children from the sadness and worry. On the contrary, children tend to "feel the tension" and wonder about what has happened. Because their scope and experience is so small, they may blame themselves for causing the death.

They also may keep the grief inside, where it causes a hurt that never heals. The best way to handle either an impending death or the actual loss is to talk openly and feel comfortable expressing emotions. When relatives and friends are more inclusive of the whole family, it encourages healing and hope.

Questions To Think About

  1. What was your first experience losing a loved one? Was it a pet or a person?
  2. How did adults involve you in the grief process?
  3. Were you allowed to say good by in your own way?
  4. Did you feel a closure?
  5. What would you recommend other families do deal with losing someone close to death?



You are invited to share insights and observations at http://www.IfDeathIsNear.com You will also be able to claim a free report on how to cope with grief, loss and change. You will be glad you did.

Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members, coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults who respect others.

You are welcome to use this article in your blog or magazine. Please give credit to Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker.

http://www.empowermentwithjudy.com/
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer is an Author of over 20 books, International Speaker and Life Educator who owns and operates ArtichokePress.com.

She runs a global online business from her home office marketing eBooks, tele-classes, newsletters, family coaching and a number of related products. At http://www.ArtichokePress.com you will receive free articles and a subscription to the newsletter The Artichoke-finding the heart of the story in the journey of life.

A recent client said, "Being with Judy, whether in person, print or tele-class is like having a cup of tea with a loving Auntie who wants the best for you and yours."

You will find her work warm, witty and packed with wisdom to make your life easier and more abundant.

Please join her community of kind, thoughtful people today.

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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)
» left by Jennifer Stewart
 1 year 205 days ago.
153 fans.
I lost my father before I knew how to grieve. When I learned, I had to go back and deal with all the grief that was trapped inside me. Mourning is so important. I like what you say about children - adults often don't realize how traumatic death is for them, especially if it's a pet.
» left by Judy Helm Wright from Missoula, Montana 1 year 204 days ago.
Thanks for your comment. Often adults don't think children have deep and abiding feelings, but they do. Often a trauma will imprint on their brain and as an adult come back to haunt them.

Judy Helm Wright
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