Explaining Death to Children
Posted: Tuesday, November 02, 2010
by Judy H. Wright
Artichoke Press
As I write this article, Spring is coming in Montana. The birds are singing, the grass is turning green and the whole world looks brighter and more optimistic to me. But I understand that all of life is beginnings and endings. Starts and stops. Mornings and nights. Planting and harvesting.
Births and Deaths
Children can sense the excitement of a new baby. Even when it is not in the family, but a stranger in the grocery store, the sight of a baby makes people happy. Just hearing a baby coo makes everyone around it smile. Births signify new beginnings and joy.
Unpleasant as death and loss is to us personally, it is important to have an ongoing dialog if they will have the opportunity to mature in their thought process and accept what must be. We are all mortal and we will all die at some point.
Examine Your Death History
Before you begin talking to your child about the subject of death, you as an adult, need to examine how you feel. Recalling the emotions around how death was handled when you were a child, may give you words and experiences to help your child deal with the reality.
Do you recall how you felt when you saw your pet die from an accident, or heard that your beloved grandmother had passed away? What were your reactions when adults did not give you "the rest of the story" about a family member's suicide?
Use Books To Teach
Books play an important part in opening up conversations and giving an opportunity to share thoughts. Reading with your child is a comfortable, natural thing to do (I hope). Books are helpful when it comes time to introduce a difficult subject and most have illustrations that help to motivate an exchange of ideas.
Some that come to mind are:
- Charlotte's Web by E. B. White
- Aarvy Ardvaark Find Hope by Donna O'Toole
- Tear Soup by Pat Schweibert
- The Last Leaf by O Henry
I have confidence in you.
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