Judy H. Wright

Discipline With Dad-Children Need Leadership Not Punishment



Posted: Tuesday, November 02, 2010

by Judy H. Wright
Artichoke Press

To many dads spend the majority of their time with their child issuing discipline: meaning yelling, threatening or spanking when the behavior of the child is unacceptable. These Dad's may be confusing discipline, which means loving guidance and teaching, with punishment. Punishment is punitive and harsh. Their own fathers worked long hours and the mother did most of the parenting, sometimes with a threat of "just wait till your father comes home."

Consequently males may have grown up without a strong caring father or in many cases, no father present at all. So they are not sure how to parent or how to get co-operation without punishing or yelling. If there is a blended family or the children are in two household it is very important for dads to be consistent in giving kind, firm guidance and discipline.

Strict, Lenient or Inconsistent

If one parent is permissive and the other is punitive or strict, the combined methods constitute a mixed approach. To kids this is like living in a country where two different governments are operating simultaneously. Kids figure out quickly that they rules are different between two parents and they learn to play one against the other.

This mixed or inconsistent approach brings out the most extreme reactions in parents and children. So as a dad, make a decision that your method of parenting will be consistent and respectful. Once your child knows what your expectations are, he or she will more easily rise to meet those guidelines and trust you.

5 Tips For Dads To Build Strong Relationship With Their Child

  1. Be firm, kind and respectful in setting boundaries."We don't use that kind of language in this house. Please do not say it again."
  2. Try to say yes more often than no. "Yes, you may have a cookie, right after dinner."
  3. Use logical consequences to correct inappropriate behavior."If you leave your bike outside on the sidewalk once more, we will put it in the garage for a week." And then do it.
  4. Be a role model of integrity. Your child will learn much more from what you do than from what you say.
  5. Hold family meetings to allow everyone to share ideas and suggestions to make the family connect more closely and the house run smoothly. Make these meetings a priority and make them a joyful time, not a time of correction or conflict.
Being an effective and loving Dad is one of the highest honors a man can have. When you build those strong connections and trust with your child, you will have gained a legacy that you can both be proud of.
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer is an Author of over 20 books, International Speaker and Life Educator who owns and operates ArtichokePress.com.

She runs a global online business from her home office marketing eBooks, tele-classes, newsletters, family coaching and a number of related products. At http://www.ArtichokePress.com you will receive free articles and a subscription to the newsletter The Artichoke-finding the heart of the story in the journey of life.

A recent client said, "Being with Judy, whether in person, print or tele-class is like having a cup of tea with a loving Auntie who wants the best for you and yours."

You will find her work warm, witty and packed with wisdom to make your life easier and more abundant.

Please join her community of kind, thoughtful people today.

This Article has been viewed 116 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.